


We Got Careless

by Zinzanzelf



Series: Makoto Niijima Week 2020 [4]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Avoiding battles of attrition, Breaking the Fourth Wall, F/M, In Medias Res, It's not a game, JKQN, Makoto Niijima Week, Makoto Niijima Week 2020, Mementos (Persona 5), Mementos Missions, Metaverse (Persona 5), Protect/Heal, Trickster wilt thou meeteth thy end here?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27291871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zinzanzelf/pseuds/Zinzanzelf
Summary: Ambushed. Low health. Hostage situation. An unidentified Shadow with no known weaknesses. All members incapacitated save for their leader who stood tall facing the remaining Shadow. Its claws scraped inches from the head one of his team members lying prone beneath it...For Makoto Niijima Week 2020: Free day, and by extension Shumako Week 2019: Protect/Heal
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Niijima Makoto, Kurusu Akira/Niijima Makoto, Niijima Makoto/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: Makoto Niijima Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1966198
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44
Collections: Makoto Niijima Week 2020





	1. A Fang Gleams in the Dark and Murky Gray!

**Author's Note:**

> Once again this story turned out to be longer than expected! Please stay tuned for part 2! 
> 
> The question is, do I save it for Shumako Week 2021?  
> Can I make it before Shumako Week 2021? Most likely.  
> Will it count for Shumako Week 2021? Let me know moderators!

Ambushed. Knocked down. Team members scattered across the battlefield, immobilized and weakened. And the last man standing, the last line of defense was none other than their leader.

The team strategist lifted her head from the ground. Stars clouded her vision. Her hair clung to her face. When she brushed it back, the tips of her gloves came away warm and wet. She was gradually regaining feeling in the form of pain shooting through the joints of her arms and fingers, though she could not feel anything from below the knees. A shallow breath sent pain ricocheting through her chest and all the while there was an incessant ringing in her ears. The lone Shadow raked the concrete with uneven claws, sneering at the leader of the Phantom Thieves like an exterminator eyeing a cornered rat.

_How did we let this happen?_

Her head sank to the ground with a dull thud. 

We were careless.

* * *

“DUDE! You are reckless!” Ryuji guffawed and slapped his best friend on the back.

“This coming from the guy who charged in with a fully powered Zio!” Ren shot back. 

The Phantom Thieves strolled through the streets of downtown Shibuya. It was a crisp autumn afternoon, the kind of mid-autumn afternoon that demands you spend every minute of daylight outdoors. The sun warmed their backs and a light breeze tousled their hair. They all laughed and poked fun at each other, and to passersby they were just another group of fresh-faced teenagers enjoying the prime of their youth. No one could guess where this group of seven (plus one cat, if someone cared to notice) was headed.

“I’m starting to think Skull has an obsession with making slimes go splat.” Futaba piped up. Ann rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide the fact she was smiling at the memory of a gooey Ryuji. He had to ask her for shampoo advice when industrial grade couldn’t save his hairdo.

“And that thing you do. ‘That’s all she wrote!’ What’s up with that?” said Ren, mimicking Skull’s little hand sign.

Ryuji whacked him on the shoulder. “Shaddup! I don’t wanna hear that from the guy with the glove tuggin’ obsession!”

“Wha? No, I don’t. Do I...?”

He stopped short and looked round at his friends. He caught Makoto’s eye. She hid a smile behind her hand. “Actually…”

Ren watched as she made a small tugging motion at the base of her left hand with her right. His hand came up and smacked his forehead. It didn’t help that she looked embarrassed for him. Or perhaps and more likely, it was because she felt self-conscious doing a Joker impression.

“See? Makoto gets it.” said Ryuji, hooking an arm around his best friend who was hiding his face in shame. “We’re all doing something weird. Nothin’ to be ashamed of. Take Yusuke for instance. Does this all the time.” 

He stuck out his thumb and index finger and formed them in the shape of a rectangle.

“Ryuji, I must say that was a terrible impression. If you’re going to imitate me, you must do it like so!” Yusuke’s spindly fingers formed his signature framing pose.

“Yeah? Let’s see you do this!” He made a strange gesture with his thumbs and forefingers.

“I’ll do you one better!” Yusuke crossed his arms and stuck out his thumbs, index and middle fingers, as if he were a cowboy dual wielding a pair of pistols.

“Oh! It’s on!”

They switched poses and stared each other down before Ryuji cracked first and they laughed till tears rolled down their cheeks.

“Man. Who would’ve thought that one day I’d be laughing with friends without a care in the world?” Ryuji wiped away a tear. “I feel lucky to be alive right now.”

Now it was his turn to freeze at the sight of his friends’ enigmatic stares. “What!? Quit lookin’ at me like I made the revolution of the century!”

“Revelation.” Morgana chirped from within Ren’s bag.

“Whatever!”

“Ryuji, who knew you were such a pure maiden deep down?” Ann looped her arms around him and playfully punched him in the ribs. “Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed! C’mon, don’t hide how you feel!”

“I ain’t!! Get off me!”

Haru giggled politely. Everyone seemed to get along so well. She made a wish right then. That these peaceful times would go on for a little while longer, and in the near future she would be able to laugh wholeheartedly alongside them.

Ren gazed at the light blue sky and laughed quietly. Ryuji was right. Here was a group of people deemed misfits by society, bound by a secret and a common cause. And through that they had each found a place to belong. He was thankful for having friends who knew about his situation and understood him, and above all, the one person whom he could entrust his life to.

He smiled at her. She walked before him with her back straight and her head held high. Her eyes were focused on their destination but he knew she was keeping the group within her periphery, ensuring no one would be left behind.

“We’re here.” Makoto announced.

The Phantom Thieves gathered around a billboard at the mouth of Shibuya Station. Morgana’s tail swished with anticipation. 

Waves of people poured in and out of the entrance. Husbands, wives, and their small children raced to Shibuya 705 for a full day of shopping. Teens hopped from boba shop to boba shop, snapping pictures of their sugary, tapioca-filled drinks. Tourists gawked at Shibuya’s high-rise buildings and the microcosm of Japan’s modern society but were hustled by the crowd. Shibuya Square stopped for no one. The world walked by in a rush.

Ren stood in the middle of the group and smirked. “Everyone ready?”

They all returned his smirk with a nod or a thumbs-up.

He slipped out his phone, passing the tip of his thumb over the MetaNav icon one smooth motion.

“It’s Showtime.”

***

The world as they knew it fell away and warped into a dark and surreal landscape that straddled the line between reality and the dim shores of the human subconscious. Seven pairs of boots and a pair of white paws touched down on the grimy floor of the alternate underground subway. Fluorescent lights flickered on and off. The wind howled through the tunnels and to some of their ears it sounded like human voices, distorted and moaning in pain. 

“No matter how many times we come here, it’s creep-central. And did it sound like someone was calling for help just now?” Panther muttered. Queen hugged her arms, wishing Panther had kept that thought to herself.

“This way, everyone.”

Joker hurried down the escalators. When they all caught up to him, Joker informed them that the floor was Shadow-free. He had also raided a lone ATM in the time it took for them to descend the escalators. Noir looked about curiously and jumped when two trains rocketed by on both sides of the tracks.

“Don’t be nervous.” Queen whispered.

Noir shook head and whispered back, “You know that feeling you get when it’s your first day at summer camp and you’re excited for all the fun activities but you’re a little nervous about meeting your cabinmates? That’s how I feel right now.”

“Awright! Let’s show the newbie how we do things around here!” Skull yelled, winding up his arms.

Panther shot up her hand. “By newbie he means-”

“Noob.”

“Navi!” Queen chided.

Noir smiled amicably. “It’s okay. I’m not offended. I am the newest member after all. I just hope I can help.”

“Yeah. You managed to hold your ground at the Spaceport, after all.” Joker gave her an encouraging smile. “We’ll be counting on you, Noir.”

“You got any questions, you can direct them at Mona-Mona.” said Skull, patting his little friend on the head. Mona knocked his hand away and puffed out his chest.

“Have no fear, Noir! I’m the expert on this place. If you have any questions, don’t be afraid to ask.”

Noir clapped her hands together. “Thank you, everyone. So, where are we headed?”

The Monamobile bounded over the tracks of a winding tunnel. His headlights illuminated the path before them and they could see mildew growing on the walls and slime pooling on the ground. Joker was careful to avoid driving through those puddles.

“Not a lot of Shadows today.” Skull yawned.

Queen twisted around to check on Noir. “How are you doing so far?”

“Very well, thank you. You’re all so good at what you do and it’s very kind of you to let me get the last hit. But I feel a little sorry for the Shadows. They’re so cute.”

“C-cute you say…” said Queen with an awkward smile.

“What part of them exactly?” Fox inquired. “I’ve been trying to capture their essence on paper yet all I can muster are abstract shapes.”

Noir placed a thoughtful hand on her cheek. “Oh, it’s a bit difficult to put into words. I suppose it’s the way they look when they beg for mercy.”

Navi snickered. Skull slunk down in his seat.

“Perhaps it is because I do not perceive their emotions and thus I am unable to capture them with my pencil...” Fox murmured, unperturbed.

The van stopped at the mouth of a swirling red vortex.

“Found it!” said Mona. “The target’s right ahead of us! Are we going in, Joker?”

Joker floored the gas. “Let’s do this.” 

A Shadow of a business man with a thick jaw and a condescending expression stood at the end of the corridor, bathed in a sickening pale green light. The Phantom Thieves approached him warily. 

“That’s Kishi’s Shadow, right?” Mona whispered.

“He looks so pigheaded…” Panther wrinkled her nose in disgust.

“No kidding. I mean this guy harassed people who worked under him, right?” Skull growled.

Queen clenched her fists. “It’s people like him who create awful workplace environments…”

“I won’t stand for my father working his employees like slaves and I certainly won’t stand for this either!” Noir declared, pointing an accusatory finger at the corrupt business man.

Shadow Kishi cackled. “Ah, are you guys the Phantom Thieves? You look like you have some complaints for me.”

Fox stepped forward. “Stealing credit from your subordinates is one of the worst things you can do as a superior.”

“That’s my way of management. It’s efficient - I give the orders, and my underlings do all the work.” Shadow Kishi simpered and stroked his silk tie scornfully. “It’s a pretty easy job. All our idiot president cares about are the numbers. Too bad for my underlings though. If they want to get noticed, they should get promoted on their own!”

Panther sighed and shook her head. “Someone like you should be fired!”

Shadow Kishi stomped his foot. “Shut up, kids! Your reasoning doesn’t apply in the real world! NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO!”

He shrieked and morphed into a dark-skinned, dwarfish, bipedal equine-looking skeleton.

Skull grinned and smacked his spiked mace in his hand. “Alright Noir. This is what us Phantom Thieves are all about! Let’s see what you’re made of!”

“No pressure!” Panther chimed.

“Don’t worry about me!” she replied, hefting her axe above her shoulder. “I’ve been trained to perform under pressure.”

Joker smirked and called forth Uriel. “Take this.”

Shadow Kishi the Kumbhanda was engulfed in a dome of blinding light. 

“That hurt!” he growled and swung his pronged hand at the Thieves. Noir cried out in pain.

Queen retaliated with a nuclear spell.

The Kumbhanda staggered. Noir recovered and summoned Milady. The headless mistress lifted her wide skirts and opened fire.

Panther cheered when Shadow Kishi fell to his knees. Carmen incinerated him with Maragidyne.

“Buncha kids think they got me cornered- GYAHHHH!” 

Joker silenced him with his blade in five consecutive slashes. There was no need to waste SP. Shadow Kishi was done.

Noir watched in wonder as the Shadow of an egotistical man was reduced to a sobbing, blubbering mess. He tried excusing his behavior saying he was treated the same way by his former boss.

Joker sighed. “It’s a vicious cycle.”

It was clear the man knew better. “You’re right. That cycle should have ended with me. I promise I’ll treat my subordinates better! I’ll be a better boss to them from now on!”

Fox nodded. “See that you do.”

Shadow Kishi sniffled and faded away. 

Joker quickly pocketed the treasure he left behind. “Nice work, everyone.”

“I’m glad that went well!” Noir clutched her chest. ”I hope we can help my father in the same way. I hope it’s not too late.”

“Of course not. That’s why we’re here to get stronger!” said Panther, patting her shoulder.

“It’ll be tougher for sure but never fear, Noir! We’ll change Okumura’s heart. You have my word as a Phantom Thief!” said Mona, with the air of a chivalrous knight. The image made Noir giggle quietly.

“Are you hurt anywhere?” Queen asked. “If you need to rest just let us know.”

“I’m fine, thank you.” Noir adjusted her hat and gestured grandly. “Now then, who’s next on our list?”

Joker smirked. “Huh. Someone’s having fun.”

“Confidence is good as long as we don’t get carried away.” said Queen, coming to his side. “Let’s not get careless.”

The next area was flat and cavernous and decently lit - which meant everyone could go full bore on any Shadows they encountered. They milled through a bevy of Shadows with surprising ease. The smaller Shadows cowered and fled for their miserable lives as their hulking counterparts were decimated by steel, bullet, and the rebellious manifestations of one’s soul.

“Too easy!” Skull roared triumphantly. “Who’s next?! I can take on a hundred of ya!”

“Skull, I know you’re high on combat but quit thinking you’re in some kind of hack-and-slash.” Navi called from above.

“Hey Navi, I know a psyched up gamer when I see one! You wanna try buffing us to the max don’tcha? C’mon! Me ‘n Cap’n Kidd can take out TWO HUNDRED of them!”

“N to the O.”

“Aw, come on!” he yelled and shook his fist at the ceiling.

Much mwehehe’ing could be heard overhead.

“As exhilarating as that was, might I suggest we rest for a bit? I’d like to sharpen my katana before our next battle.”

Six hands went up. Three belonged to the more practical members of the group. Navi charted a course to a nearby Safe Room.

Joker began passing out drinks. He tossed half of the cans to Queen who handed them to Panther and Noir. But she had to kneel down and persuade Navi to take a break from her laptop and replenish her fluids. Skull guzzled down three cans at once. Panther rolled her eyes. The one who needed a water break the most was the one who shouted himself hoarse saying he wouldn’t stop for nothing.

Noir clapped her hands together in delight. “That was incredible, Joker! I’ve never seen anyone so adept with a knife!”

“What this?” he asked, casually twirling his knife in the air then catching it in the other hand. “You spend enough time in the Metaverse you pick up all kinds of tricks.”

“Ooh! You think I can do that with my axe?” She swung it around like a pendulum. “Why don’t we try it now?”

“Er...maybe another time.” Joker inched away and nearly bumped into Queen. 

She cleared her throat pointedly. “Shall we keep moving, Joker?”

Noir nodded eagerly. “Yes, let’s! We’ll surge ahead with phantasmal grace!”

“You took the words right out of my mouth, Beauty Thief!” Mona hopped to and fro and transformed into the Monamobile. “More loot! More stuff! Treasure! Treasure! **_Meow_**!”

“There’s no stopping Mona once he gets like this.” Navi sighed as she boarded.

Queen smiled to herself as she took the wheel. “Phantasmal Phantoms, hmm? How’s that for a group name?”

The next floor felt like an abandoned basement in the dead of winter. When the road became too narrow, they were forced to continue the trek down on foot. The only lighting in the immediate area was from the dirty industrial bulbs strewn haphazardly along the walls. Queen shivered. Each footstep she took became smaller and smaller until she was inching her way along. Joker fell into step beside her and bumped her hand with his. _I’m here._

Her shoulders relaxed slightly and she stopped shivering. He stayed by her side at the rear, and made sure the group stayed together. His footsteps were confident and she knew it was because of his unique ability to see that which was concealed. If the feeling of dread crept over her again, she would look to Joker and his eyes which gleamed with a gentle light.

The passage twisted and turned until it led to an old and musty station. Cracks in the concrete branched out like an intersection of blood vessels, where metal gratings were bolted to the floor. Newspaper fragments blew past them and were carried away by the wind into the darkness. The Phantom Thieves were all too happy to see a Safe Room and stopped to rest their sore feet. They also broke out an assortment of vending machine drinks, sandwiches, as well as Leblanc Coffee for a quick snack.

Joker and Queen stood watch in a corner together. Everyone knew when to give the leader and team strategist some space for their little huddle meeting.

“This is the deepest we’ve gone so far.” she mused.

“Yeah.” He flashed a quick grin. “I think we’re ready to move to the next level. What about you?”

“Well, yes but-”

“Great. So here’s what I was thinking. We split the group in two: one team fights, the other one rests and heals up. We alternate as needed.”

She nodded slowly, gathering her thoughts. He continued without missing a beat.

“We keep going until we run low on medicine or energy. I figure we’ll be able to clear another two floors if we plan this right.”

She placed her hand on her chin. “But we’ve never been this far. I think it’d be best to proceed with caution. What if we run into an strong enemy?”

“Then we just have Mona warp us back to the entrance and go home.”

Somehow he always had a quick answer for everything. And he made it sound so simple too.

“What’s gotten you so excited?” she asked, folding her arms.

“We were able to advance two floors down in one day, Queen! Two floors!” he said in an excited whisper. “And we have eight members now. Before we had to quit due to lack of manpower or supplies.”

“Don’t forget experience.” 

“Sure, that too. But now we have more than enough for both!”

“Yes, but that means you’ll be on the front lines for both groups. That’s too much. Even for you.” she protested. 

“Don’t worry, I can handle it. And I can always count on you or Mona to heal me if I’m low on energy. Also medicine.” he said, juggling a bottle between his fingers without so much as looking.

“You can’t treat this like a game. We’re not computer game characters with infinite stamina and energy. While it’s true we can recover almost instantaneously with medicine and magic, there are other factors to consider.” she reasoned. “People can’t fight battle after battle without it wearing down their mental capacity.”

He looked pointedly at Skull. She gave him a wry smile.

“Granted there are exceptions but I still maintain that we avoid battles of attrition. Even if everyone’s morale is high, even if our physical strength is continuously restored, please keep in mind no ‘potion’ can instantly cure mental fatigue.”

“You have a point there.” he conceded. But she saw that unmistakable glint in his eye whenever he was in a persuasive mood. 

“But let me show you something.” He casually wrapped an arm around her shoulder and held his phone in front of her. 

“The PhanSite?” She looked up at him and back at the Mementos Missions list. Many of the requests were ticked off. 

“And this is just from today. We helped so many people. More than we’ve been able to before.” he murmured in her ear.

“Yeah…” She allowed herself to rest against his shoulder for a moment. “I suppose since we’ve come this far, we should at the very least take care of any requests that are on this floor.”

He grinned widely. She held up a finger to his face.

“But we don’t have to attack every single Shadow that we see.”

“Just the requests. Got it.”

Satisfied, she lifted herself off him and stretched her arms and neck.

“So? I know you’ve got the team formations worked out in your head already.” he said with a knowing smile.

She sighed softly and began tallying each member with her fingers. 

Her right hand came up. “Team A: Skull, Panther, you, me.” 

Then her left hand. “Team B: Noir, Fox, you, Mona.”

He nodded approvingly. “Agreed.”

“Then-” Queen was about to announce the groups to the others but Joker motioned for her to wait.

“Let’s switch Noir with your position and we’re good to go.”

Her mouth gaped open. “You want me to switch with Noir? A-are you certain about that?”

He pursed his lips. “She’s doing a lot better since the last time we came here, but she’s getting a bit reckless. Like she can’t wait to deal the final blow. I want to keep an eye on her, show her how to employ defense tactics. Milady’s shields are second to none.” 

She shuffled her feet. “But you still need a healer on that team.”

“I know. And you’re looking at him. I can fill in whatever role is needed for the team. Support, defense, healing, attacking - you name it.” He smiled at her earnestly. “That’s why I’m glad to have you. Your versatility in battle allows for this sort of flexibility. I can put you anywhere without having to worry about changing tactics or strategy.”

It was among the highest of compliments he could give her, yet Queen found herself feeling perturbed. 

She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “T-thank you...”

“I know. We’ve never done something like this before.” He gently laid a hand on her shoulder. “Just this time, okay? If the line-up doesn’t work we can always reoptimize. Is that no good?”

“No, it’s just...” Her eyes drifted to her boots.

_But that’s my spot…_

She had to mentally reprimand herself. It wasn’t a matter of personal preference or acting on a sense of entitlement. This was about strategy and efficiency. It was about improving the team as a whole and avoiding battles of attrition. 

_And here I was criticizing him for treating this like a game when it was me all along._

She took a deep breath, drew herself to full height, and squared her shoulders.

“I understand, Joker.” she said curtly, like a adjutant addressing her admiral. “I’ll take the position assigned to me.”

Queen marched off and relayed the team formations to the others. Joker watched her go. He sighed quietly and ran a hand through his hair before joining them, and answered whatever questions they had for him.

When Joker made a decision, he made it work. Under his leadership, both teams took care of two Mementos Requests each. They “wiped the floor” as Skull put it. Queen mentioned it did cost them a sizeable portion of medical supplies but no one seemed to mind after Joker assured them he would restock before their next dive. When Mona asked if they were going to explore further, Queen reminded them again to watch their energy levels. They all agreed to avoid all Shadows if possible and return to the entrance once they reached this level’s chained gate.

The path grew wide enough for the Monamobile to shine once again. They drove through a tunnel that gradually descended down a slope. Joker had to keep his foot on the brakes to slow their descent.

“Does it seem like it’s getting darker?” Panther whispered. 

Noir and Fox blinked and looked out into the inky black at the same time. It seemed to make no difference if their eyes were open or closed.

“This isn’t just darkness. It’s like, Advanced Darkness.” Navi muttered, hugging her knees.

Queen froze in her seat. Joker patted her hand.

“The gate’s just ahead of us.” said Mona.

Joker suddenly hit the brakes. Everyone lurched forward.

“Joker, what the-” Skull hissed. “Hell is that thing!?”

There thwarting their path was a massive, formless Shadow. It appeared as tall as the gate behind it and they couldn’t tell if it was standing or sitting. Though the Monamobile’s headlights washed over it, it didn’t react. The only semblance of movement was the smoke that curled around its enormous frame.

Skull eyeballed it. “It ain’t budging.”

“Should we come back another time?” came Noir’s hushed whisper.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this...” Queen murmured.

Fox gripped his katana. “I don’t like the way it’s looking at us.”

“W-w-what do you mean, Inari? It’s got no eyeballs.”

“We’re being targeted.” He flicked his sword’s hilt. “Like a beast eying its prey as though it were biding its time waiting for us to come closer. Ever since we entered the tunnel.”

“Joker,” Queen gripped his hand. “Start backing away. Slowly. We don’t want to make any sudden movements.”

He only swallowed. Whether he was deciding to fight or flee she could not tell. Panther reacted first.

“Mona, try flashing your high beams at it. See if you can blind it.”

“Yeah! And then BAM! RAMMING SPEED!” said Skull smacking his fists together.

“Are you kidding me?!” he nearly honked. “Provoking an unknown enemy’s the dumbest thing you can do right now!”

Queen looked at Joker again. “We need to lower its guard if we’re planning to attack. But we should get out of its line of sight first.”

He nodded and shifted into reverse. “We’re gonna back around the corner for a sec.”

“Guys.” said Panther, not daring to speak above a whisper lest the Shadow would hear her. “It’s gone.”

Joker’s eyes darted around the cavern.

“Where---?”

Claws tore through the van’s bumper and dug into the engine. Mona screamed but he kept his form as a bus. 

“GO! GET OUTTA HERE!”

Phantom Thieves burst through the doors, drawing their weapons. Navi ascended into Necronomicon and had the eldritch UFO illuminate the area.

“Bastard! It hurt Mona! It’s on now!”

Skull brandished his mace at the writhing abomination. Panther crouched at his side, whip taut.

“You’re gonna pay for that! Noir, take care of Mona!”

“Got it!” she cried, cradling Mona protectively. “Oh, Mona-chan. Please wake up!”

Joker’s mask ignited with blue flame. “Let’s go, guys!”

“Stay together, everyone!” Queen commanded as Joker had Arsène deliver the first blow.

The Shadow screeched. Thin pupils of sinister red like the slits of a fiery furnace, appeared over the surface of its body. They warped and dilated and everyone knew as dread filled them, it was pinpointing each of their locations. It cursed and wailed, causing the stones in the walls to crack and fissures to form on the ground. Everyone covered their ears. It writhed and stretched over the fractal barrier and across the walls, a churning mass of living destruction that devoured the light and drew its power from the very darkness around them.

Queen stared at it in abject horror. “We’ve never encountered a Shadow like this before. I can’t even tell what weaknesses it could possibly have. Navi!”

“Uh, um! Hang on.” Navi’s fingers flew across her keyboard. “My scanners show it’s just a menacing lump of...stinkiness! Just keep launching attacks at it! See what sticks!”

Skull led the vanguard. “You heard her! Hit it with all ya got, Captain Kidd!”

Fangs protruded from where its belly should have been. Captain Kidd rammed his ship straight into its open maw. Her bow was caught between its jagged teeth. Radioactive green drool ran down the decks.

“Gross! Leggo, you bastard!” 

Goemon and Carmen came to her aid. Captain Kidd leveled his arm cannon and all three unleashed a barrage of elemental spells until Captain Kidd was able to break free.

With a harsh croak, the Shadow retreated against the wall.

“Yeah, you better run.” Skull growled. “Nobody messes with the Phantom Thieves.”

“Keep it up, guys!” Navi clicked a few buttons. “Support is on its way...now!”

Waves of ultraviolet light swirled around the Thieves. Joker sensed an invisible barrier around each team member, like a second layer of armor.

Fox suddenly gasped and ran back. But he was not retreating. He threw up a dense layer of ice between him and Necronomicon. Dark tendrils burst from the ceiling and destroyed the frozen wall like a bulldozer through brick, burying Fox beneath the ice.

“ **INARI!!** ” Her hands trembled, trying not to panic, hoping the barrier was enough to mitigate the damage. “Fox down! Someone help him!”

Joker fired at the retreating tendrils. Queen’s revolver joined in the bullet hail followed shortly by Panther’s submachine gun. 

“It was aiming at our navigator!” he growled in frustration.

Queen’s mind spun. “But how did it know?”

“Doesn’t matter now!” He whisked off his mask. “Trumpeter!”

The skeletal angel sounded its horn. A debilitating miasma covered the Shadow. Carmen stomped her heel and scorched it with her flames.

Queen wheeled Johanna around. “Skull! Get Fox out of there if you can! We’ll handle this!”

“On it!” Skull was already digging through the ice. “Fox! I’mma getcha outta there! Hang in there, man!”

The Shadow surged upwards, clawing away at the blight on its body. 

“It’s no use!” Joker sneered. Five taloned hands lashed out blindly towards the sound of his voice. Joker and Panther leapt opposite of each other.

Queen accelerated and fired two bullets through its side.

“Hey! How do you like this?” She swerved, coming between it and her teammates, and unleashed a nuclear spell. She stared in disbelief as it caught the unstable orb of radiation between its jagged talons and detonated it on the ground.

The force of the impact launched both girls backwards. Queen braced herself, expecting to taste solid brick but was caught safely in Joker’s arms. He was panting hard. Sweat mingled with blood where his face had been grazed. The corner of his mask was chipped. They stared at each other for a moment, having the same question in their eyes.

_Are you alright?_

Queen nodded and swallowed, trying to keep panic from slipping into her voice. “This Shadow… It keeps adapting to our attacks - it fights like you.”

His eyes widened with realization. “What?! If that’s the case…”

Rubble rained down on them. They looked up in time to see Captain Kidd and his ship disappear. Her prow had been punctured.

“What are you guys just standing there for?” Skull shouted, clutching his side. “Move!”

The shadow keened and slammed itself against the walls. The tunnels filled with smoke and ash.

She gripped his arm. “Now’s our chance to escape!”

“No!” he grunted through bared teeth. “It’ll just chase after us. We’re defeating this thing right here and now!”

“But!”

Joker thrust her backwards. Dark claws swiped down where he stood. She screamed his name. The dust cleared and she saw Joker rise unharmed. Before him was a thin but sturdy barrier, like a levitating crystal triptych. She saw Noir standing a few meters away from them, one trembling hand clamped over her mask, the other reaching towards them.

“Noir! Get back!” he barked.

Milady faded but Noir still stood there with her knees knocking together, as if she were glued to the ground.

Navi’s voice echoed from above, shrill and desperate. “Just one more hit! One more hit and it’s finished!”

Queen ignored the pain radiating down her back. She fought to stay calm, scanning the battleground for who could still fight. Fox down. Panther down. Skull had dragged them both to safety but his breathing was ragged. The Heavy Mace he wielded now seemed more a millstone than his signature weapon. 

“ABOVE YOU!”

At the sound of Joker’s warning, she leapt to the side. Chunks of gravel burst in the air where she had been standing. Behind her was Noir curled up in fear. Before her was Joker struggling to his feet, azure flame spurted from his mask as he attempted to call forth another Persona. 

Who? Who was it aiming for next?

A shrill wail pierced the air and the Shadow swooped down. Queen pivoted on her heel, made a split-second analysis based on its trajectory, and threw herself in its path.

She chose wrong.

***

There was a blinding light followed by a blast of blistering heat. The shockwave thrust them backwards. When the dust settled and her vision restored itself, the strategist side of her was able to analyze the grim situation, though dazed.

Ambushed. Knocked down. An unidentified Shadow with no known weaknesses. Statuses ranging from Dizzy to Shock. All members incapacitated save for their leader who stood tall facing the lone Shadow. Its claws scraped inches from her head. She heard a dry, gravelly voice above her before realizing it belonged to the unknown Shadow.

“ _I’m not playing around._ ”

“I’m not either.”

Joker clicked the safety and glared. It leered at him.

“ _I might consider letting your teammate go for some of your stamina..._ ”

Queen was paralyzed and pinned to the ground but she managed to turn her head and catch Joker’s eye. She shook her head slightly. The Shadow dug its claws into her back. She winced and gritted her teeth to keep from crying out.

“ _What’s it gonna be, tough guy?_ ”

Joker was livid. His eyes blazed crimson - cold, furious. Darkness seeped into his vision. The putrid air constricted his lungs. Every breath he took, every second that dragged on brought him dangerously close to unconsciousness. What will power he channeled to hold his right arm steady came from Queen, the ferocity in her eyes matching his, demanding he not surrender.

_Just let it take me. You can revive me later. But if you go down, I’ll..._

After a tense moment, she heard Joker holster his gun.

“Fine.” He held his arms out and took one step forward.

_No!!_

“No! Don’t!” came the weakened cries of their teammates. “Joker!”

The shadow crowed and charged at their enervated leader, one jagged appendage raised high, ready to carve him in two.

Its triumphant cry was silenced by a silver bullet shot clean though one of its bloodshot eyes. It fell dead to the ground and corroded into fetid clumps that became like smog scattered by the wind. Joker rose breathing heavily, gun smoking in his left hand.

“Queen...” he called weakly as he stumbled towards her.

The paralysis had finally wore off. She rolled to her feet and reached for him. 

“Joker.” 

He sank to his knees. The gun clattered to the ground as Queen caught him. His arms went limp and his head thudded against her chest. 

“Stay with me! Come on, Joker. Don’t do this.” she pleaded. “Come on.”

He was perspiring profusely, his breathing shallow, and she could feel his body temperature rising to dangerous levels. His face burned feverishly hot in her hands.

“Just breathe. Just breathe for now.”

The other Phantom Thieves staggered towards their unconscious leader, stricken with worry. Everyone was still trying to make sense of the situation. 

“Joker!”

“Is he okay?”

“Hang in there!”

“Oh, please be alright!”

She carefully laid him on the ground and pressed a hand to his forehead. “Fox! I need an ice spell if you can! We need to lower his body temperature.”

She then looked to Navi who was furiously typing away on her laptop.

“Navi! Get us to the nearest safe area!”

“Already on it, Queen!”

Streams of data reflected off her tinted goggles. Navi blinked her tears back. When one tear dared to fall, she slapped her cheeks, then her hands. With the stinging in her palms to distract her, she hit ENTER.

As those who had the strength to walk carried those who were still incapacitated, Navi shut her laptop, grabbed Mona and pointed the way forward. 

* * *

_Drip_

Joker lay somewhere, entombed in an unfamiliar darkness. He could not speak. He could not see. He could not move. He could only lie where he was, listening to the sound of dripping water.

_Drip_

Was he in a cave? Impossible.

_Drip_

Where was everyone?

_Drip_

Were his friends safe? Was _she_ safe?

_"Tr...k..ster...wilt...t...meet...thy end...here...?"_

_Come back! I have to go back!_

The dripping sound grew louder. It became a chorus of voices like the sound of rushing waters, thrusting him towards the light.

Joker gasped for air as if he had surfaced from the pressurized depths of a dark, watery world and was now taking his first, true breath of life. He heard Queen gasp with relief somewhere over his forehead. He felt her warm hand squeeze his hands crossed over his chest. He heard her speak in a voice laced with tears. 

“Joker! Thank goodness! Stay right there. I’ll get the others.”

His vision slowly returned to him and he saw her form leave his sight.

“Wait…!” Joker reached for her and crashed to the ground. He clambered to his feet, ignoring the pain shooting up his elbows and knees. He gripped the bench and pulled himself up only to lurch forward on unsteady feet. She rushed back to him.

“Wait! You shouldn’t get up just yet! Lie back down!”

She caught him right when his knees gave, fully supporting his weight. His arms locked around her and he tilted back against the wall. He held her tight against his chest. One hand cradled the back of her head, the other was wrapped around her waist. His hands shook and he was murmuring something over and over in a small voice, scarcely audible over the howling wind.

Her heart twinged when she realized he was calling for her - not by her codename, _her name_. She slipped her arms into his coat and rubbed his back, soothing him all the while. 

“Ren, Ren. It’s okay.” she murmured into his ear. 

He only held her tighter as if he thought she would disappear if he slackened his grip. One hand reached up and traced her upper back. His fingers slipped under the strap that kept her shoulder pads in place and she realized he was checking the spot where the unknown Shadow’s talons dug into her. 

“I’m fine.” she whispered. “Let me see you.”

He drew back slowly and she felt his bare hands cradle her face, cool and dry and no longer shaking. She was only registering now that he had removed his gloves some time between falling to the ground and holding her.

Joker looked her over in relief and wonder. She smiled at him and brushed his bangs aside, tracing the side of his face as she did so.

“I’m fine, see? And so are you.” she said, caressing his cheek.

He pressed her hand to his cheek. “Sorry. That must’ve been scary.”

“I wasn’t worried. I knew you’d save me.”

Queen was glad the Shadow had aimed at her instead of one her friends, though she was frustrated at the limit of her own strength.

“I think you put way too much faith in me.” he said, with a shaky laugh.

“Of course not.” she replied, trying to keep the worry out of her voice. “You’re our reliable leader. We can always count on you to get out of any situation.”

It was supposed to restore some measure of confidence but instead, he looked stricken with guilt by her words. His attempt at a crooked smile twisted into a grimace. She lowered her eyes and laid one hand over his heart.

“Please don’t do that again. I couldn’t live with myself if you put yourself at risk for my sake.”

“And do you think _I_ could live with _myself_ , abandoning my partner to death just to save my own skin?”

Though he did not raise his voice, it had become severe, merciless. One that obliterated any chance of objection.

Her hand fell away. Her eyes widened with dismay. She bit her lip and fought to stay calm for everything she thought of saying right then would lead to a cyclical argument. And that was not what they needed right now. He appeared to be thinking the same thing. His stern gaze then softened and he eased off.

He touched her neck. “Where’s your scarf?”

She indicated behind him and he turned to find it neatly rolled up, serving as a makeshift pillow. “Cervical support. Temporarily.” she explained, wincing as she did. In retrospect, the scarf was rather flimsy no matter how much she bundled it.

“I think I would’ve preferred a lap pillow.” he teased.

She crossed her arms and spun around indignantly. “I-if you’re feeling better now, we should let everyone else know and --- Wah!”

His arms came around her from behind and he sank his head into her shoulder. “Wait. Just a little longer.”

Her arms fell to her sides. “They’re worried.”

“One more minute - no, thirty seconds.” he mumbled.

She closed her eyes and forced herself to remain still. “One minute.”

He released her after thirty long seconds. 

“Where is everyone anyway? Why aren’t they with us in the safe room?”

She fixed her scarf in place and explained what had transpired calmly and clinically. “After you lost consciousness, I carried you while we looked for a Safe Room. Noir helped too. By the time we arrived at a Safe Room thanks to Navi, Mona regained consciousness, enough to transport us to the entrance. He fainted again shortly after so we had to locate another Safe Room. Throughout that entire time you had a death grip on my arm and you wouldn’t let go...no matter how hard any of us tried to pull you off of me. So everyone thought it best to give us some space and here we are.”

“Oh...sorry.” He laughed awkwardly and tugged at his bangs. “I’ve been a little too clingy today, huh?”

“Let’s go.” she said crisply and marched towards the door.

***

The Phantom Thieves sat around the entrance. Fox leaned on a pillar with his katana resting on his shoulder like a watchful samurai. Two of the girls were chatting quietly. Navi sat in a corner with Mona, typing away on her laptop. Skull ambled around the platform and would kick at the ground every so often. Panther was the first to raise her head towards the sound of an opening door. Out stepped Joker wearing a tired but apologetic smile on his face. 

“Sorry to worry everyone.”

The Thieves swarmed him with their questions and concerns. Their voices overlapped each other and Joker tried addressing each one.

Queen stood a polite distance away.

“I’m fine. Really. You guys okay, though? Ow! Obviously that’s a yes! Easy, guys! I _just_ woke up!”

Navi squeezed her way through the middle of the group and barreled into him. Joker patted her head.

“I heard you got us to safety. Thank you, Navi.”

They heard her sniffle.

“I’m not crying! I’m not, okay?” she mumbled and gripped his coat. “Joker? Don’t scare us like that again. Ever.”

“I’m sorry.” he said gently. Then he looked at each of his teammates and lowered his head. “I’m sorry, everyone. I put everyone in danger. How can I apologize for-”

“Okay, okay, let’s not turn this into a pity party. This place is depressing enough as it is.” Skull placed a hand on Joker’s shoulder. “Yeah, things got a little dicey back there. And maybe for a hot second I thought we were goners but you held the line, man.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You saved us.” Panther gave him a sympathetic smile. “We’re okay. We’re not upset or anything. We just want to know if you’re okay.”

“It was our decision as a group to enter that tunnel. Only, we did not expect to encounter such a strong enemy. I’m only ashamed that I could not defend you all at the most crucial moment. Forgive me.” Fox doffed his mask and bowed his head. Navi clutched his sleeve and shook her head.

“You should worry more about yourself, Joker.” Noir said kindly.

“Noir,” Queen began. “We apologize for putting you through such a harrowing experience. Normally we-”

“You too, Queen. We’re glad to see you’ve both recovered.”

“Right. And thank you. For waiting for us.” Queen folded her hands and looked at the floor. Noir was stronger than she looked. Perhaps she had been worried for nothing.

The Phantom Thieves stood around awkwardly. They all knew what they wanted to ask but were unsure of how to phrase it given the circumstances. Mona broke the silence.

“What now, Joker?”

It was a rare occasion to see _Joker_ speechless. He sighed that quiet sigh that everyone recognized from their hideout meetings. In short, “I don’t have a clue right now and I need more time to think.”

“B-b-back to the grind, right?” said Navi in a sorry attempt to lighten the mood.

Panther yawned and stretched her arms in an exaggerated fashion. “Actually, I’m really tired. Would it be okay if we stopped for the day?” 

She nudged Skull.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Let’s stop here cuz Panther needs her beauty rest more than- YOWCH!” He glared at her when she elbowed him in the ribs and glared right back. “I mean, I’m super tired. Dead tired.”

Fox raised a hand. “I think I speak for all of us when I say recuperation and rest would be preferable.”

Noir nodded and turned to the team strategist. “Queen?”

“I also think we should go home. ” She looked directly at Joker. “It’s up to our leader to decide.”

They all looked at him. Joker sighed. He didn’t want to think about anything for a while.

“Let’s head back.” he said quietly.

***

Makoto gripped the railing, focusing on a smudge on her shoe. She was thankful that all the endurance built up from her daily Aikido training helped keep her from collapsing on the floor. She was also thankful that everyone had got off at their stop safely and were presumably resting at home. It was just her, Ren, Futaba, and Morgana riding the train now. Yongen-Jaya’s stop would be coming up soon. She heard Ren’s footsteps behind her. His hand curled around the railing above her hand. She shut her eyes. He hovered there silently, swaying with the train. She didn’t want to break the silence and anything she thought of saying would probably come out as testy or rude. But it was torment waiting for him to speak first.

When the train passed through one station he sighed softly, as was his habit, before speaking in a weary voice.

“I’m going to take Futaba home. Will you be all right by yourself?”

She nodded once. _Don’t worry about me._

She felt his hand pull away. She heard him return to his seat.

_Tell him. Tell him you need to talk later._

The train skidded to a stop. 

_Say, “See you tomorrow.” like you usually do._

The doors hissed open.

_What are you waiting for? Hurry up!_

Makoto inhaled sharply. 

When she finally turned around he was gone.


	2. Rid of the Pest, I now can Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> About a week has passed. Ren and Makoto haven't spoken since...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spies with my little eye a fitting entry from Shumako Week 2021 for this chapter. (Day 3: Arguments and Making Up)
> 
> You can count it as an early entry. Or don’t.  
> At the very least, I hope you enjoy Ren and Makoto’s long due reconciliation. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

Two polite knocks on the door to the Student Council Room snapped the Treasurer of the Student Council out of his daydream.

“Excuse me, is Ma- Niijima-senpai here?”

The Treasurer gulped. “The President? I-I’m afraid she’s stepped out. I don’t know when she’ll be back.”

Ren sighed softly. “I see.”

“I can take a message if you want…”

“It’s fine. Would you mind telling her Amamiya was looking to speak with her?”

A nod. Ren returned it.

“Sorry to bother you. Um, good work with organizing the budget for the school trip.”

“That was mostly President Niijima though...” he mumbled, into his turtleneck.

Ren shut the door behind him with care. Morgana poked his head out from the bag and watched him pull out a folded piece of lined paper from his pocket. After internally debating with himself for a few minutes, he turned on his heel and headed for the school gate. 

Around the time Ren arrived at Aoyama-Itchome Station, Makoto returned to the Student Council Room, carrying an armful of binders and folders.

“I’m back. Did anything happen while I was away?”

The Treasurer shifted in his seat. “Uh, President?”

“What is it?” she asked, as she filed away papers and various forms.

“There was someone here to see you. The um, delinquent. You’re not in trouble, are you?”

She soundly shut the binder of records. The soft thump reverberated through the student council room. “He’s not a delinquent.”

“President Niijima?”

Makoto wheeled on him.

“Ren-kun has been here for more than six months and has not caused trouble of any sort, regardless of whatever implausible rumors people like to believe.” She stared him dead in the eye and planted her fist atop the binder. “How long are you going to make such irresponsible assumptions? Will you please take that back?”

“S-sorry.” he squeaked.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap like that.” She gingerly brushed a lock of hair away. “Did he need something?”

“The d-delin-, uh, he-”

“Amamiya. His name is Ren Amamiya.”

“Amamiya-san was looking for you. He didn’t say what for. He just asked me to let you know.”

She smiled faintly. “I see.” 

“Are you okay? You look kind of tired.”

“Thanks for your concern but I’m fine. And thank you for telling me.” She gathered a stack of papers and began filling them out. 

“He probably had a question from the latest study guide. Yes, I’ve been tutoring him from time to time.” she said, off his look.

“Only because the teachers asked you to. Right...?” 

“I’m sorry; Did I make it sound like that?”

He fidgeted with his hands. “No. I mean, ‘cause you’re-”

A severe look from her dried up whatever little comment he had. Makoto added her signature to the bottom of the forms.

“He’s been doing very well in case you were wondering. And he’s always courteous and respectful to the teachers and his peers. Ask Ms. Kawakami if you don’t believe me.”

She handed him a stack of forms, ready for stamping.

“It could all be a façade. Some people are really good at hiding their true selves.” he said cautiously, as he stamped the school’s seal in the appropriate boxes.

She tapped her pencil to her chin. “Ah, I know what you mean. In some cases, there are those people who ‘seem fair and feel fouler’. Those kinds of people are charismatic on the outside but they’re actually the most deceitful.” 

It made her smile to herself ruefully as she thought of a certain someone who walked the line between foe and rival. “Conversely, there are those who ‘look foul and feel fair’. I think that describes him better. People just need to give him a chance.”

“Right…”

She smiled at him primly. “Thanks for your help. I’ll take care of the rest. You can head on home.”

The student treasurer trudged down the hallway. He scratched his scalp. “‘Look foul, felt fair’?” 

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. He needed a cold drink. After making it to the first floor he paused again. “‘Ren-kun’...?”

After delivering all completed forms to the faculty office for the day, Makoto returned to the Student Council Room. Her phone buzzed and she saw she had four missed messages. Ren had called a meeting.

> _R. Amamiya: Sorry for the short notice but there’s something I need to discuss with you all. Today if possible. Can you guys make it?_

Futaba had responded first.

> _F. Sakura: Roger wilco._
> 
> _A. Takamaki: Okay. What’s up?_
> 
> _K. Kitagawa: I should be able to make it but I’ll need to take the earlier train. Start without me if I take too long._

Makoto stared at her phone screen as Haru responded with a yes. Ryuji and Futaba were already waiting at Leblanc. She tapped the text message screen, watching the cursor blink. As she was the only one who had yet to respond, Makoto felt a sudden pressure come over her. Whether this meeting would commence or not rested upon her very answer...or so that was how it felt. Their communal agreement of being “in one accord” seemed more a binding chain than anything now.

She scrunched her eyes shut and exhaled sharply. _Why am I letting this bother me so much?_

> _M. Niijima: I’ll be there._

***

After fighting her way through the crowded station and down the narrow windy alley, she was relieved to see the cheery lights filtering through Leblanc’s windows, bidding one and all to stop by for a cup. She was certain that she was the last one to arrive and Ren was likely disappointed. She exhaled again, picked the leaves out of her hair, and entered the café.

“Excuse me.”

She was greeted by the rich scent of coffee and the chattering of Leblanc’s regulars. And there was Ren with six cups in hand, prepping for coffee.

“Makoto. You made it.”

He smiled at her like he was glad to see her, the way he always did and it made her fiddle with the ends of her hair.

“I’m sorry I’m late. There was a lot of paperwork that needed to be done and I lost track of time. I know that’s no excuse but-”

“It’s okay. One of the council members told me.”

He set the cups down and stepped around the counter to meet her.

“Honestly, I’m always making you apologize...” His hand came up to caress her cheek but stopped short as if suddenly restrained by heavy shackles. He retracted his fingers and turned his attention to the coffee grinder. “Why don’t you head upstairs? Everyone’s waiting. The coffee should be done shortly.”

Makoto nodded wordlessly and did as he said. 

_There were still customers in Leblanc. He stopped for propriety’s sake,_ she reasoned with herself. 

Had there been a mirror, Makoto would have detested herself even more, knowing the momentary unease in her expression had slain that gentle smile of his. And she pushed away the image of the hurt in his eyes when she recoiled from his touch. It had been near imperceptible but because it was him... 

Once everyone had settled into their seats and adopted their favorite sitting positions, did the discussion formally begin. Ren set his cup down and folded his hands.

“We’re all here. Thanks for coming on such short notice, everyone. We were quite ambitious last time, weren’t we? In fact, according to Futaba’s scanners that was the most progress we’ve made so far.” He looked down at his folded hands and sighed quietly. “So, last time I wasn’t able to answer you guys about what we were going to do next.” 

Makoto kept her eyes on her cup. She could see his hands in her periphery. And she could hear layers of fatigue in his voice. Ah, how she wished she spoke to him sooner. _Or was I just waiting for him to approach me?_

Her throat felt dry so she took a long sip of coffee. She heard him draw a slow breath before continuing.

“We’re going back, alright. But I wanted to give all of you enough time to recover first. I know what we went through was probably scary for some of you…”

Futaba’s fingers stuttered over the keyboard. Morgana bumped his head against her chin.

“So let me say this first: I won’t let that happen again. You have my word on that as your leader.”

Haru raised her hand. “Wait, Ren-kun. I realize I’m speaking out of turn but allow me to voice my concern. Are _you_ okay? And don’t just say you are.”

Ren looked around the room, receiving small nods and smiles from his friends. He smiled softly. “I really worried you guys, didn’t I? Thank you, Haru. I’m okay now, really. And thanks guys for giving me time to sort things out.”

“What’re you gettin’ all shy for?” Ryuji grinned. “How’re we supposed to jump in now?”

Ann nudged his shoulder. “We can always count on you to un-awkward things. But yeah! I wasn’t sure if I should say anything but it was kinda awkward.”

“I’ll say it again. It was our decision as a group to enter that tunnel. The responsibility lies with all of us. No one is to blame. Least of all you, my friend.” Yusuke said solemnly.

The Core Thieves joked around over close scrapes and lucky victories. Futaba kept typing away. 

Makoto finally spoke. “The deeper we go, the more risk we take, and the stronger the Shadows are. If I might make a video game analogy, monster levels increase in difficulty with each level you ascend. Or in our case, descend.”

She glanced at Futaba for approval. The gifted hacker wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms over her knees.

“It’s like we got trolled by the GM. Seriously, what was with that difficulty spike? We go down a floor level and my buffs were useless. That’s just cheating!”

The wind rattled the window panes and the temperature in the room dropped.

“Futaba-chan…” Ann reached out with a sympathetic hand.

Yusuke walked over and laid a hand on her small shoulder.

“I’m okay.” she muttered. Yusuke kept his hand there and Futaba didn’t shake him off. She raised her glasses and rubbed her eyes. “Okay, listen! I did some analyses on what happened! It was a one in a million chance. Like a rare spawn kind of rare!”

“So, like…” Ann said cautiously. “Will we be running into something like that again?”

Morgana flicked his tail. “Probably not. But if we do, I know what to look for. The closest thing to it we’ve fought were the Shadows of corrupted individuals. I wonder sort of cognition made it seem so powerful?”

Ryuji chuckled and swiped his nose with the tip of his thumb. “I kinda wanna try fighting it again. That was pretty much the one source of excitement that day. Obviously the weak spot was the head. Just aim and boom! Head-a-splode!”

Ren smiled wryly and pushed up his frames. “Brute forcing our way probably isn’t the best idea. We need a better strategy than that.”

“Right. If we learned anything from this, we need to change up our tactics. If I may make a suggestion, we can have Futaba buff us before battle. Defenses to the max.” Makoto looked up at him. That’s when she noticed dark rings beneath his eyes.

He nodded at her. “Right. Let’s give that a try.”

“This will also prepare us for any challenges we face in future Palaces. The Shadows are more cunning due to the cognition of the Palace Ruler. It’s best we approach every fight with optimized tactics and strategies. And to have an exit strategy if necessary.”

Ryuji pouted. Ren and Makoto exchanged a knowing glance.

She smiled behind one hand. “I know we have fun battling and it makes for some-”

“Potent stress relief?” Ren finished for her.

“Right, that...too.” She frowned and shook her head, ignoring that glint in his eye. But she couldn’t help but feel a little happy that he was able to tease her like normal. 

“But sometimes we forget how dangerous Mementos can be. We were reckless and overconfident in our skills. And because of that, we let a Shadow get the better of us. This was a good reminder.”

Nods and affirmative hums went around the room. Makoto smiled and turned to address their hunched-over navigator.

“So Futaba, we’re depending on you. Guide us to victory like you always have.”

“Mm-hmm. I’ll be the one protecting you guys. Not the other way around. Never again.”

Yusuke gave her a reassuring smile, though Futaba had her face buried in her chest. “Worry not, Futaba. The choice I made in the midst of battle was and mine and mine alone. I knew if you were safe, you would get us out.”

“Stupid Inari…”

“Hmm?” Yusuke tilted his head towards her. “Did you say something?”

“Stupid Inari! How long are you going to keep your hand there? You want it to be surgically attached to my shoulder or something?” she yelled, knocking it away. “See if I share my jagariko with you! The salad flavored ones!”

Yusuke flailed back, his mouth agape. “You! You little _tsundere_! And to think I was worried!”

She stuck her tongue out. “Hah! You think something like this would get me down? Had ya fooled, cheapskate weirdo Inari!”

“Who are you calling a weirdo?!”

“Settle down, you two! There are customers downstairs!” Ann exclaimed, making a shushing motion with her index finger. “No fighting!”

“Yeah, you tell ‘em Ann.” Ryuji drawled.

While Ren calmed Yusuke down and Ann stopped Futaba with her ninja-poking, Haru decided now would be the time take her friend and fellow third year aside to quietly ask: “Mako-chan, are you feeling okay? I know Ren-kun is pushing us to go back because of my situation and I’m happy everyone is so willing to help but we can take a break if you need it.”

Makoto gave her a calm and confident smile. “I’m fine, Haru. I’m prepared for a little danger. That’s why I became a Phantom Thief. Actually, I was more worried about you. How are you feeling?”

“To be honest, I felt powerless when we were up against that Shadow. But still, I knew I had to fight. Otherwise I’d go back to the way I was. Afraid to make a move. Letting others fight for me.” Haru squeezed her hands together. 

“You’re doing fine. Remember, you’re a part of the team now. Helping each other is only natural. You don’t have to worry about this on your own.” Makoto smiled warmly, remembering Ren telling her the same thing when she first joined.

Haru nodded and returned her smile.

“She’s right, you know.” said Ren, joining their conversation. “If there’s something on your mind, you can tell us.”

“Yes, thank you.” She stood and bowed politely. “I want to be able to contribute to this team. I hope you’ll allow me to get stronger alongside you.”

“But of course.” said Yusuke, ignoring Futaba’s antics. “Where would we be without your colorful declarations of war?”

“Yeah. Noir’s a lean, mean fighting machine! She just can’t stop!”

Haru hid her face in embarrassment. Makoto patted her shoulder.

“Futaba, you may want to reconsider your choice of words…” Yusuke remarked.

Chuckles went around the room.

“We can’t let something like this discourage us after coming this far, now can we?” Makoto gave Ren a small, apologetic smile. The look in his eye softened and the corner of his mouth quirked up. It was near imperceptible but she caught it.

Morgana pranced about on the table eagerly. “Queen’s right! We couldn’t call ourselves Phantom Thieves if we just stopped here! So? So? When’re we going back?”

“Don’t you worry, Mona-Mona. We haven’t given up on finding those lost memories of yours. We’re gonna go all the way down there if we have to.” said Ryuji, patting his head. Morgana shoved his hand away.

“I- I wasn’t worried about that! I just didn’t want everyone’s skills to get rusty. Yeah, that’s it!”

Haru giggled into her hands. “Oh, Mona-chan…”

“He’s not wrong.” Futaba muttered, rocking back and forth on her heels. “It’s like relearning how to play Super Bash Bros. And then you get owned by level 3 CPU’s because you mixed up shield with grab. Not that that’s ever happened to me though.”

Ren nodded once and rose to his feet. “Okay. Then we’ll meet up again this weekend. Meeting adjourned.”

***

The Phantom Thieves dispersed into the dusky streets.

“Morgana, can you walk Futaba home?” Ren asked.

Morgana bobbed his head and slipped out the window.

“Okay. Let’s clean up.”

Ren sighed softly as he stretched his arms and looked around the attic, post-meeting. Chairs here and there, coffee ring stains and crumbs all over the table. But the ceramic cups and plates were gone. Makoto’s school bag had been left behind on her chair. 

He quickly stacked the chairs then stowed the table in the corner of the attic. Then he brought her bag to the spare table by the staircase, grunting as he set it down. Through the opening of the main compartment, he eyed several thick textbooks along with her notebooks and workbooks. 

_She was lugging all of this with her?_

He was sweeping up leftover cans and napkins into a garbage bag when the sound of running water coming from the kitchen sink caught his attention.

“You didn’t have to,” he sighed.

Makoto kept her eyes on her work, stacking up plates ready for drying. “It’s no problem. I’m almost done.” 

He leaned against the wooden beam, gesturing towards the door with his free hand. “I’ll take care of the rest. You should go home. Sleep early if you can.”

“It’s faster if two people clean, right?”

The faucet squeaked shut. She dried her hands and grabbed the trash bag, bumping her hand against his. “And...I want to.”

He regarded her briefly before releasing his hold on the bag. “Alright.”

The door clanged shut. Ren looked around with his hands in his pockets. “Guess I’ll mop the floor.”

A strong wind blasted through the narrow alley and he heard cans scatter.

“Makoto! Are you okay?”

“Sorry! The wind it just-” She scrambled about picking up cans left and right. “It’s just a few of them. I managed to keep the trash bag from flying away.”

Makoto reached for the broken shards of a glass bottle. Ren was suddenly beside her. He seized her hand.

“Stop.” His grip on her wrist tightened. “Just leave it.”

“It’s fine; they’re large pieces,” she explained, trying to keep the impatience from her voice. “I have to pick them up before they roll away.”

“What if you cut yourself?!” he roared over the wind. The porch light swung over them, illuminating his pale face. His teeth were bared, his eyes were wide, feral and fearful.

There was nothing but cold silence save for the wind whipping around them.

She searched his face in bewilderment. He averted his gaze. 

“Ren…what’s wrong?”

“No, I…” He released her hand and staggered backwards. “I’ll get a broom.”

When he left, she rolled her sleeve back and inspected her wrist. The angry red imprints left by his fingers had just begun to fade.

He quickly returned with a broom and dustpan and implored her to go back inside while he cleaned up the broken glass. Not wanting to agitate the situation, Makoto acquiesced and went inside to wash her hands.

When she came out, she saw him slumped against the counter. His head jerked up when he heard her close the bathroom door behind her.

“Sorry I freaked out on you.”

“It’s alright.”

“No, really. I just- I don’t know why- I shouldn’t have...to you...” His hand clawed the air, searching for some sort of plausible explanation. His head drooped and his hand along with it. “I’m sorry...”

“It’s okay, Ren. I’m fine.” She approached him carefully. “Are you okay though?”

“Yeah.” He rubbed his head. “I just haven’t been sleeping well lately.”

“You too, huh?” she murmured. 

He tilted his head. _Sorry, didn’t catch that._

“W-well we got things settled with the team and everyone’s calmer now so that should put your mind at ease. I uh, hope you sleep better tonight.” 

“Right. Sure. Thanks for your help.” He hastily hung up his apron and dimmed the lights. “Good night.”

She fidgeted and pointed at the attic. “My bag’s still upstairs so...”

“Oh. I’ll bring it down for you.”

“I can get it myself.” 

She darted past him and nimbly raced up the stairs. When she disappeared around the corner of the stairwell, Ren began the slow ascent one stair at a time.

She was hovering by the staircase, clutching her schoolbag tightly in her arms. “That should be everything.”

“Okay.”

They stood in place. Makoto smoothed her hair and pursed her lips. Ren slipped past her to grab his school blazer.

“Actually, there’s something-”

As she reached for him, a gust of wind hit the café, causing the tree branches to scrape the windows and the lights to sway and shake. There was a loud pop like a gunshot and the attic went black.

She shrieked and hid her face in her hands. Her bag crashed on the wooden floor and tumbled down several steps.

“Makoto!”

“Ren!” She lowered her hands. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scream like that. I’ll just get my bag and crawl my way down now…”

“Stay there,” he said, calmly. “I’ll come over to you.”

She heard his footfalls come closer. 

“Stretch out your hand.”

Her eyes darted around the room blindly. “Where? I don’t want to accidentally hit you.”

“You won’t. Just do it.”

She slowly reached out into the darkness towards the direction of his voice. Her fingers found his and she slowly made her way over. His hand closed around her upper arm. He gently guided her to his side and had her rest her head against his shoulder.

“I-I’m surprised you can move so well in the dark.”

“I’ve been living here for more than half a year now. I know the layout.”

Her fingers curled around one of his suspenders. He laid his hands on her shoulders. She shivered and it made him wish his hands weren’t so cold.

“Why don’t we go sit on the couch?” he murmured.

The lights came back on. They both looked up.

“Oh. Power’s back.” he exclaimed nonchalantly.

Makoto disengaged herself and pressed her palms together. “Thank you for that. I…You should sleep. We can talk some other time.”

“Makoto.” His hand enveloped hers and he turned her towards him. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

She stared at their joined hands.

“Even if I can’t put it into complete words?”

“You have to start somewhere.”

“Even if I weigh you down with my feelings?”

He intertwined their fingers. “Even then.”

She bit down on her lower lip. “I don’t…want to burden you.”

Ren shook his head gently. “And I don’t want you to bear this by yourself. I’ve told you this before but I’ll say it again: you can rely on me.”

“But...I don’t even know where to begin. My feelings are all over the place and I’m not thinking straight. I need more time to process them.”

Makoto began to shrink away but Ren drew her close and once again, gently guided her to rest against him.

“Then stay here.” he murmured into her hair. “Stay here until you’ve calmed down.”

She gripped his shirt. “That might be a while...”

He only held her tighter and she sank into his embrace. 

After some time had passed, Ren motioned her towards the couch and had her sit first. Makoto bundled the ends of her skirt. Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth and her throat felt like it was closing in on itself. She cleared it and pursed her lips.

“What I’m about to say will probably upset you. But I need to get straight to the point.” She took a deep breath. “You put your life on the line to protect us again. But this time you pushed yourself to the limit, at the cost of your health.”

He sat hunched over with his hands on his knees, motionless.

She scrunched her eyes shut. “Do you know how worried I was? I didn't know what I was going to do if you didn't wake up. But what you said after that... It left me confused. But most of all it bothered me.” 

“Right. Of course you’d be.” He grimaced. “I was wrong. I’m sorry if you like.” 

She saw the way he gripped his knees. She pursed her lips and after taking another breath to steel herself, she continued.

“It’s not that you were wrong. It just wasn’t fair...the way you said it. I felt like…you were...shutting me down.” She shuddered and tried not to think of all the times Sae was short with her. She heard him sigh.

“So I went too far. Fine. I’ll keep stuff like that to myself. Is that what you want?”

“I knew it. You _are_ angry.”

“Not at you.”

“Then look at me when you say that.”

He turned away.

She laid her hand on his forearm.

“Ren, you can’t just shut me down every time you don’t feel-”

“Don’t you understand?!” he cried, jerking his arm back. “I screwed up and I almost _lost you_!” 

Tears sprang to his eyes and he choked out his next words. 

“I could’ve lost you...” 

She glimpsed two tears trailing down his face before he whipped around. He cast away his glasses and kept swiping at his eyes in an attempt to make each tear be his last.

Makoto could only sit there, stunned. Ren was not someone who cried in front of others easily. Nor was he someone who raised his voice or lost his temper. And yet tonight, she had witnessed all three breaking points.

_I didn’t want to do this to him. I can’t break down conflict gently like the way he can. I just hurt him in the process. After he comforted me too. I really am the worst._

His diaphragm spasmed and a stifled sob tumbled forth from his mouth. She watched as he slowly raised one fist towards his face, white-knuckled, nails digging into his palms, to --- hit himself!

She came between him and his fist, placed her hand over his and lowered it. With her other hand she cradled the back of his head, bringing him to rest in the crook of her neck.

“Don’t.” she whispered.

“Sorry.” His face pushed into her collarbone as she held him and gently stroked his hair.

He wept quietly, letting his tears fall like icicles melting beneath the midday winter sun, as she continued to hold him. They flowed freely and he watched them be absorbed by her skirt and his pants. His hand was a loose fist now with Makoto’s right hand over it.

When he sniffed loudly she reached into her pocket, pulled out a packet of tissues, and stuffed a couple in his hand.

 _“Aren’t you prepared?”_ \--- He wanted to say if his throat wasn’t so constricted and his nose so plugged up so he settled for bumping his head against her in thanks and mopped up as much mucus as he could.

It hit her all at once. His trembling hands, the way he called her name like a lost child, the way he clung to her as soon as he regained consciousness. She knew he was in shock from what happened but she expected him to brush it off, the way he normally did. How blind she had been. Ren, her anchor, her constant, her touchstone had revealed one of his deepest fears.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t see it back then. I was the negligent one this time.”

He shook his head. She continued to stroke his hair.

“I’m sorry I made it seem like I was ignoring you. I meant to talk with you sooner but one thing kept coming up after another.”

“We both did.”

His breathing was calmer now.

“I thought I’d give you some space first. Then one day became three. Then three days became a week.” he said between sniffling. “And the rest...is all excuses at this point.”

“Yeah. It didn’t feel right. Not being able to talk with you. But I wasn’t sure how to approach you. The more I thought about it, the more complicated it became in my head. And I thought maybe I was the problem. Maybe I was just overthinking things. I was afraid I’d just hurt you or I’d cause an even bigger misunderstanding.”

Her hands trembled slightly. He patted her back.

“That’s fine. I upset you. I know. All I could think of was how I failed to protect you. I didn’t want to hear anything else. Least of all your kindness; thanking me even though I screwed up.”

“This may be hypocritical of me to say but please don’t think of yourself like that. You did protect me. You protected all of us. It doesn’t matter how grim the situation looks. I’m not afraid because you’re there. And you always pull through.”

“You really do put too much faith in me.” he croaked.

She laughed gently. “I meant what I said back there. You’ve brought us this far and you have not led us astray. I know I can entrust my life to you.”

“Won’t you let me wallow in self-pity a little more?”

“No.”

He chuckled that low chuckle of his and she smirked.

“I won’t take back what I said. You’re the one I promised to protect.” He swallowed the lump in his throat and wiped his nose. “I’m sorry, that’s just the way I am.”

She sighed knowingly. They were the same in that regard.

“Then in return, I’ll use everything in my power to make sure you’ll never be in that situation.”

She smoothed his hair back and kissed his brow, allowing herself to linger there for just a moment longer. 

“Thank you for always hearing me out.” she murmured against his forehead.

When he lifted his face to see hers, she smiled warmly and wiped his tear-stained cheeks dry. Their eyes met and in that instant, they knew they were asking for the same thing. 

It was a kiss that stayed gentle throughout even as it became fuller and deeper, alleviating both of their worries. It made Ren smile against her mouth as she relaxed and fell into his lap.

He held her close, supporting her back and waist with his hands. She stroked his cheek and wiped his eyes and the tip of his nose for good measure.

“I should get going. Will you walk with me?” she whispered.

Her hand trailed down the side of his face and he caught it in his and squeezed it. 

“You don’t even have to ask.” he whispered back.

After retrieving her bag and his school blazer they walked down the stairs, past the muted TV, the burbling coffee siphons, and the serene _Sayuri_ gracing the entrance. As Makoto’s feet tread over the welcome mat, Ren’s arms wound themselves around her and he pressed his nose into her hair. She held still. He squeezed her shoulders.

 _Sorry, again._ They seemed to say.

She shook her head gently and clasped his forearms.

And though he whispered, “Ten seconds,” neither of them kept track of the time, perfectly content to stay in that warm embrace until they both felt it was right to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes/Ramblings:
> 
> -So I debated with myself how long they would need to cool off before talking. That night after that battle? A day? And how would they approach the problem?
> 
> -But before they could have a talk, they needed to address the problem as a team. I was struggling with how each member would handle it. It was taking longer than I wanted, so in the end I made it less somber and settled it with some humor. To their credit, the Thieves are stronger than they appear.
> 
> -But yeah, it's probably obvious I just wanted to get to Ren and Makoto's reconciliation. And what's the best way to put them in a place of vulnerability? Storms and blackouts! But I didn't want them to just talk it out in the dark since Ren was about to go through a rollercoaster of emotions and this time Makoto would be the one to comfort him.
> 
> -I like that I was able to end with the "ten seconds" scene to reflect the same moment in the previous chapter. Despite being physically close, they were emotionally distant. Now that they've reconciled, they were able to close that distance both physically and emotionally and everything is as it should be.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes/Ramblings:
> 
> -I didn’t have a particular Shadow in mind so it stayed a formless menace, wreathed in shadow. If anyone can think of a specific Shadow that fits the description, feel free to leave a comment!
> 
> -I’m a sucker for stories that mix in heal/protect themes, especially when they involve one’s OTPs.  
> -Originally, I was going to have Makoto pass out from exhaustion and Ren worrying over her but I realized I’d be repeating “I Got Your Back” which made it into ch. 10 of Past the Gloom. So I switched things around while repeating the same worries and concerns, more or less.
> 
> -Everyone poking fun at everyone’s All Out Attack victory screen poses and catch phrases was inspired by some banter in Crimson. They’d look ridiculous in real life but for the game, it’s charming.
> 
> -Describing actions scenes is tough! It’s challenging to keep the pace up while making it engaging and making it sound like a play-by-play.
> 
> -I pulled inspiration from Calvin and Hobbes’ “A Nauseous Nocturne” for both its nightmarish description of the Monster in the Closet coming to attack poor Calvin in the dead of night and for the chapter titles.
> 
> Oh, blood-red eyes and tentacles!  
> Throbbing, pulsing ventricles!  
> Mucus-oozing pores and frightful claws!  
> Worse, in terms of outright scariness,  
> Are the suckers multifarious  
> That grab and force you in its mighty jaws!


End file.
